Thoughts on the breeze

During this period of hot and humid weather it has been harder to think, to take in more than the diary punctuating meetings and administrative load. Thinking has waited until the balmy evenings, when recently, during a rare break over the bank holiday weekend, I took to reclining in a chair in the garden with a book. Not an intellectual book or one that I ‘should’ be reading but something lighthearted, that didn’t make my brain work too hard. The sort of book you might read on a sun-lounger when basking by a well deserved outdoor pool under the shade of a sun umbrella with a cocktail on hand.

I noticed that this resulted in feelings of ‘I don’t have time for this’ and ‘I should be…’ rising to the surface and I wondered why? Why do we often have thoughts of ‘not doing enough’ or ‘being idle’? Is it a result of what we were taught? What we have learnt from our peers? Our own warped expectations of what is needed from us? There is the envy of others having the time to do this but when we do…we feel guilty for doing so.

Is this a female thing? Of being a mother? Or is it the general pressures of life to be something or to excel? Or perhaps this is just me, thoughts rolling through me today, like thoughts on the breeze?

I’ve been thinking a lot about ideas recently - I’ve been surrounding myself in the creative space and meeting some exceptional people with some wonderful ideas. My brain is buzzing with thoughts and possibilities - it’s exciting! It’s funny how sometimes inspiration when it comes, doesn’t appear with huge clarity, but more like a collection of stones that you need to search through or blades of grass from afar - you can’t quite separate them or see the strength of the roots until you are able to examine them more closely. Like the dandelion clock one has to wait a while for the seeds to spread, to land, to find purchase on the soil and to see which ones will mature. Meanwhile, I’m impatiently awaiting them doing so…